June 2012
May 2012
huntersandangels:
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a fucking moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.
groovymuttations:
“it’s them” the home depot employees whisper as the hipster bloggers grab paint swatches to write inspirational quotes on
mom: you know he's old enough to be your father
me: the father of my children
mom: what
me:
me: what
I CAN’T BREATHE
Anonymous asked: didn't hear from ubc?
Anonymous asked: anything from universities yet?
2 tags
If I ever could for a “once in a life time” thing, I don’t think I’d ever feel bad punching you in the face, you dumb broad.
in the year 6057
historian: over the last few years we have explored most parts of the prehistoric "the internet" and have come across a gathering of young adults called "tumblr".
historian: we discovered a large amount of "slash" which has lead us to believe that 99% of 21st century humans were homosexual. we do not yet understand how the species managed to surivive
historian: we also uncovered a never before seen language on "tumblr". Words and phrases such as "omg", "wat", "this shit cray" and "yolo" have been deciphered, but more complex sentences such as "dslfajsdlj no stop i can't evensldfjaldjaf" have yet to be understood
honorized:
uninevitable:
iphone420:
ugh im trying to sleep but 100 boys keep calling and texting me
same
hate when that happens.
gatsby: hey i just met you
gatsby: and this is crazy
gatsby: but i'm going to spend most of my life and wealth in an attempt to pursue you for your stunning vapidness and the warped image of yourself created in my mind as a precursor to my eventual fall
gatsby: so call me maybe
1 tag
I enjoy laughing at every hypocritical thing you say and do.
Oh man, it’s just so amusing being a bystander through all of it.
Bravo.
teacher: where is your homework
me: queued
1 tag
4 tags
Me: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: What for?
Me: TO OPEN THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS What do you fucking think for.
iwritesinsnotfanfiction:
what if ke$ha had an evil british twin named ke£ha
